Home is Where the Rain is

This week was a tough one for me. I had so much going on that the exhaustion hit me, and I fell behind for the first time. Falling behind in medical school feels like when you go snowboarding for the first time and every time you get going again, you fall directly on your butt, contemplate your life because it’s freezing cold, get up and try again, and instantly get knocked down over and over again until you somehow reach the end of the run cold, miserable, and in pain, yet somehow want to do it all over again and you chose to participate in said activity. It’s a silly analogy, but all to say that this week was not my best. It wasn’t even the material or the pace; it was simply exhaustion and a wrench thrown into my routine. 

Like I mentioned last week, I got into Acacia, which is a student-run clinic that provides confidential STI testing and sexual health education to vulnerable populations across New Orleans. Because of how sensitive this work is, we had three days of training to ensure we have the tools and knowledge to run various rapid STI tests, as well as counsel patients about negative and positive results, and know which resources to provide them. The first two days of training were run by an amazing educator who works for the Louisiana Public Health Department. We learned so much about the tests themselves, how to counsel properly in a trauma-informed and culturally safe way, as well as some of the reasons behind the disparities in sexual health here in New Orleans. There are lots of systemic barriers preventing people from accessing sexual health care in the city, specifically affecting people of colour and those who identify as gender diverse. These findings remind me a lot of the research I did during my master’s, even though I am now working with a whole new population in a whole new system. The final day of the training was the most fun for me as we got to practice testing and counselling with our fellow classmates who are also part of Acacia. These training sessions were so helpful and invaluable to me as I am so passionate about this kind of work, but it took a lot out of me. While these trainings were happening, so were classes for our new block. Reminder, we are now in MSK 2, which focuses on the lower limb. I missed a whole bunch of class, and had to watch the recordings after the training sessions on Monday and Tuesday, which proved to be very difficult for me since I try to always watch classes live to avoid falling behind. I have a pretty strict study regimen where I watch lectures live, review them at night with the help of AMBOSS AI, do the associated practice questions and Anki deck. Each lecture’s review, practice problems, and Anki can take anywhere from 1.5-3 hours, so adding the extra step of watching the recordings actually sent me into a spiral because I was exhausted before I got to the review part of my day. Luckily, I could go back to watching live lectures on Wednesday, but that evening was again spent at training, so by the time Thursday morning came around, I was behind reviewing 6 lectures. I was absolutely exhausted by that point, watched the lectures that day and then took a well-deserved break. I binge-watched Sterling Point and did absolutely no schoolwork. Sterling Point is a great show incase you’re wondering. By Friday, I finally felt like a functioning human again, but still had no time to review because of my Friday night plans, which meant my weekend was going to be a grind.

While I was physically exhausted this week, I was also going through it mentally. The homesickness this week brought was actually cruel. The NHL season started up again this week, and while that is super exciting, I am reminded that I am no longer a part of the Canucks Ice Team. All my ice crew pals are reunited again, working the home games, while I watch them alone on my TV. I didn’t think it would be this sad, but it was such a huge part of my life (I was on the team for 4 seasons), that it hit me like a truck how much I miss my friends, the NHL stadium environment, and being in Vancouver. The Canucks are also surprisingly playing quite well, which makes the games pretty exciting, adding to my feeling of FOMO. I was lucky enough to Facetime my ice crew pals while they were working during the home opener, which felt really special since it was a reminder that they haven’t forgotten about me/replaced me like I keep overthinking they will. I watched every single Canucks game this week, and I hope I can continue that streak throughout the season. Go Canucks Go! Side note, I also won my first fantasy hockey matchup this week!

Next week is also Canadian Thanksgiving (yes, we celebrate Thanksgiving in October, not November in Canada). Thanksgiving is one of my favourite holidays because the food is amazing, and it means fall is in full swing. This is my first time spending Canadian Thanksgiving in the US, which means that I will be missing out on all the festivities back home. While that actually sucks, I decided that I will host my own mini Thanksgiving celebration here for some of my med school friends. While I won’t be making a four-course turkey dinner, I will be baking some Nanaimo bars and other fall desserts and watching the Canucks game on October 11th with some of them. I will update you all next week on how it goes.

Adding to the homesickness, October 1st was my cat Cleo’s 16th birthday. Every year, we get a cake and sing her Happy birthday together as a family. Not being there in person sucks, but I did get to Facetime her. She is my first and only pet, and being away from her actually kills me because I love her so much. She has been in my life since I was 10 years old, so you can only imagine how much she has been through with me.

Finally, the cherry on top of the homesickness is that it rained so much here this weekend. The skies were grey and dull all weekend, reminding me of fall in Vancouver. While some people probably hated it, it made me feel a sense of comfort and connection to home. I miss home a lot, so maybe it was the universe’s way of telling me that home misses me too.

Besides being sad and exhausted all week, I did get up to some other things. I made it to the gym three times, including for a workout class with my friend Edith. We did a body pump class that targets every muscle group in the body. I also went for dinner after the Wednesday evening Acacia training with my friend Aashana. We went to a super cute Indian restaurant called Aroma Indian Cuisine. The food was delicious. We each got a mango lassi and shared some Roti, Tandoori Chicken, and Malai Kofta. For dessert, we also got some Gulab Jamun, which is one of my favourite desserts of all time. Aashana is one of my closest friends here, so it was a great time. On Thursday evening, my TLC group met for ice cream at Ruthie’s Frozen Custard. Our TLC faculty lead also came, so we got to learn more about Tulane med and what to expect in our next 4 years. I ordered vanilla custard with strawberry swirled in, making it feel similar to a strawberry sundae. Our faculty lead was also hosting an Internal Medicine mixer the next evening, which he invited us all to. I am super interested in internal medicine, so it felt like a great event to attend, so I did. I got to talk to a couple of Internal Medicine doctors, and learn about the difference between hospitalist vs ambulatory Internal Medicine. 

Then the weekend rolled around, and I found myself completely overwhelmed with how much review I needed to do. As you can imagine, I spent most of this rainy weekend hunkered down in the books. I did manage to do a couple of fun things. I saw a movie with some friends on Saturday night. We saw Verity in theatres (I recommend it if you like movies that keep you on your toes). I also made it to the gym on Sunday and hit a solid leg workout, watched the Canucks game, and made a new soup recipe since it finally felt like fall with all the rain. Now that the weekend is done, I can say I completed about 80% of my schoolwork, which I am going to consider a win. Now we’re right back to the grind this upcoming week with many more lectures, so pray for me as I try to keep my head above water.

Before I forget, I also have to mention two exciting updates. Remember the super secret interview I told you about last week? Well, I can finally share what it was for. Tulane Med has a group called Reshaping Student Journeys for Medical Excellence (RSJME). RSJME's purpose is to develop a curriculum to foster community engagement, provide students with necessary resources to become compassionate physicians, and emphasize the importance of advocacy in healthcare. As a member, you essentially work with the administration, faculty, and the student body to make sure our curriculum is up to date on topics that make physicians better, like trauma-informed care, policy changes that affect medicine, etc. It is a program that spans all of medical school, which is awesome since you can really make a difference over your four years. I am super excited and grateful to be part of this program since there are so many skills and qualities that medical students can learn to make them better future physicians. Being someone who can help shape and emphasize which qualities those are is a privilege. I am a huge advocate for practicing medicine in a trauma-informed, holistic, culturally safe, and patient-centred way, and I hope the changes I can help lead will ensure our curriculum reflects those qualities.

I also applied for a new program coming to Tulane called No One Dies Alone (NODA) NOLA. This is a program that is already happening at many other medical schools across the country, but essentially it is a program where medical students volunteer at local hospitals to provide companionship to patients in the hospital who are going through their end of life alone or through a long hospitalization, injury, etc., alone. I decided to apply for this program since I want to better understand how I can support patients during the most vulnerable and difficult moments of their lives, as well as learn how I can manage my own emotions during these scenarios to ensure I meet the needs of my patients. I think it will be one of the most valuable experiences I get in medical school because of how much it will teach me emotionally. I am a little nervous, as I know it will be difficult, but I am also incredibly grateful to have the chance to support people as they go through these situations.

I know I haven’t been in medical school that long, but it really feels like I have done so much already, and talking about starting all these new things is only going to add to that feeling. I am so thankful there is so much to get involved with, but I am really trying to limit myself to things I feel incredibly passionate about. It’s harder than it looks when I am passionate about so much lol. It’s a hard dilemma to navigate when you want to do things, while also needing to prioritize schoolwork, rest, social life, and overall health and well-being. I am not sure if it will ever get easier, but maybe we’re all just faking it until we make it. Speaking of prioritizing rest, it’s time to get some sleep to hopefully avoid getting behind the 8-ball this week. I hope you all have a productive and cozy week, and see you again soon!