This week was a very heavy week for my classmates, myself and everyone in the TUSOM community. One of our second-year classmates unexpectedly passed away last week. I was lucky enough to call this person a friend and someone I felt very close to throughout my time here at Tulane, which hasn’t been all that long yet, so I feel extra heavy for those who had the pleasure of knowing them longer than me, and of course, for their loved ones and family.
That news rocked our whole community, making it an especially hard week to focus and prepare for our upcoming exam. I was struggling with it for the whole week, but especially the day I found out the news and the couple of days after. It felt extra hard to wrap my head around because no one teaches you how to deal with the grief of losing a classmate in medical school. We talk a lot about losing patients, which is also incredibly hard, but not the same. As I said, I struggled very hard with this news, and while I am someone who can usually push my feelings back and deal with them when I have time, this was not a situation where I could do that. I felt every feeling over and over again, and I don’t think it will go away any time soon. I did reach out for actual support to deal with them in a way that didn’t feel debilitating, since these are huge feelings. I decided to reach out for help because my feelings needed a healthy place to go and because medical school doesn’t stop, even when it feels like part of your world has shattered in front of you. It’s weird because while life never stops for anything, sometimes you can rearrange your life to take a pause while you process, but medical school doesn’t always give you that. So while I felt all these big feelings, I also had to find a way to study for my exam. I tried my best, but also gave myself grace that while this exam may not go how I want it to, at least I am doing my best to persevere, while also doing what I need to process. I also have really great friends here who gave me space to talk about and feel these feelings. It felt really nice to lean on my friends and be there for them too, as we all navigate this unimaginable travesty. We went for some walks in Audubon Park to clear our heads, we studied together to feel less lonely, and spent time together post-exam, cheering each other on for doing our best on this exam, given the circumstances. While this week sucked, the bright spot was being around my classmates and doing more outside.
The one great thing about exams is whenever they happen, we get a weekend to do whatever we want and not study, so I really used this weekend to get outside and enjoy the city around me. It is such a beautiful time of year here in New Orleans, and I am really starting to fall in love with the city. On Friday night, a few of my classmates and I headed to the Batture, which is a waterfront grassy area overlooking the Mississippi River with some food and wine concessions. We watched a gorgeous sunset together, played some games, talked about anything and everything, and enjoyed each other’s company. It was my first time at the Batture, but it was stunning, and I will be back. I was eaten alive by mosquitoes, but it was worth it. I then headed over to my friend Aashana’s place to hang out with a few girls in our class. We each brought snacks and had a cozy night in doing a puzzle and colouring. I brought a colouring book from home with me called Cozy Canada, which has cartoon images of popular places and things you would see in Canada. It felt so refreshing to do something chill with my classmates instead of our usual going out post-exam, so I really enjoyed it.
On Saturday, we had our annual Fall Day of Service, where the T1s sign up for various volunteer opportunities around the city. I signed up to set up Christmas Trees in City Park for the Celebration in the Oaks annual holiday event. We had to lug small Christmas trees from the entrance to where they needed to be. We propped them up and strung them with lights. Kids from local schools will now come and decorate them, and then they will be on display for the duration of the Celebration in the Oaks event, which runs from post-American Thanksgiving to the end of the holiday season. It was fun setting up the trees, and we each got a free ticket to the Celebration in the Oaks event, which will be super cute to attend. I am really excited that the holidays are quickly approaching since it means I get to go home and see my cat, my family, and my home friends. I miss all of them so much, especially this week when they feel extra far away. After volunteering, the classmates I volunteered with and I walked over to Café du Monde and enjoyed Beignets. We then went for a long walk around City Park. It was my first time in City Park, and wow, it is so beautiful. It is one of my new favourite places, and I am mad I didn’t visit sooner. The trees are gorgeous, there is a sculpture garden, and the walking paths are stunning. Post-walk, Aashana and I headed over to ParkWay Bakery & Tavern for NOLA’s most famous Po’Boys. We each got the classic roast beef Po’Boy. They were so delicious and definitely lived up to the hype. I then spent the rest of my afternoon hanging out and trying to catch up on life. I am 5 episodes behind on DWTS, so I had to watch a couple to attempt to catch up.
Sunday was another productive and fun day, where I spent lots of it outside. I started my day by deep cleaning my apartment and then headed to the French Quarter to meet a new friend for brunch. I walked most of the way to the quarter, enjoying the sunshine and all the people outside. Seeing people outside enjoying their day reminds me that more to life exists beyond my medical school bubble, and I really need that sometimes. We went for brunch at Muriel’s Jackson Square, which is a famous restaurant here in New Orleans. I learned that there is a special room upstairs called the Séance Lounge that is so cool (I will definitely have to come back during the evening/night one day). After that, I wandered around the quarter before meeting up with the Catan crew to play another game on the rooftop of one of the apartments here. It was a lot of fun, and I did a lot better this time around. I was so close to winning (One brick away LOL). We will play again, and I will get a win one of these days. After that, we played a new game called Monopoly Deal that I (unfortunately) am not a big fan of. Then I headed home, had dinner and started writing my blog before heading to volleyball. Every Sunday, there is open-gym volleyball for med students, and my friend Mia convinced me to come. I have not played volleyball since PE in high school, so to no one’s surprise, I sucked. I had a good time, but I definitely need to do a lot of work to improve. Now I am back at home finishing up my blog and prepping for another week. We are about to start our pulmonology unit, which I am also not super interested in. Luckily, it’s a fast unit, so it will be over quickly.
I really hope this next week is better than the last, but to anyone reading and feeling any of the big feelings I have been feeling, please do reach out for help. It can be scary, or you’re like me and try to tone down the feelings until you can’t anymore, but talking about them with someone who gets it can really help. If you need someone to talk to, please reach out to me or any resources available to you. Sending big love and strength to everyone, and let this serve as a reminder to be gentle with yourself. See you here again next week.
